Get all 9 queer father releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Dear John - single, hope less (demos and other space oddities), believe (river version) - single, South Bend - June 23rd, 2022, hope less, believe (single), The Tale of the Convenience Store (single), desert sunlight (single), and 1 more.
1. |
easy love
03:58
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I bet you fall in easy love too easily
and I bet you’ve said this line a hundred times before
I bet you have a shag line queued with hundreds
and I bet I’m 98, next week it’s 99’s time
but I’m getting cold
and we’re growing old...er
and daddy can’t do anything about it
it’s my time now to shine
so let me get my heart trampled on tonight
I’ll dust it back off tomorrow
I bet it burns when you piss on the lawn
and I bet you’re gonna spread it like a jam
I bet you’re running from a warrant
and I bet you’re gonna throw me in somehow
but I’m getting cold
and we’re growing old...er
and daddy can’t do anything about it
it’s my time now to shine
so let me get my heart trampled on tonight
I’ll dust it back off tomorrow
I know I’m never gonna be your girl
and I’ll end up in the ambulance soon
you’re gonna leave a trail on my body
but what can I say
you’re an ugly hottie
but I’m getting cold
and we’re growing old...er
and daddy can’t do anything about it
it’s my time now to shine
so let me get my heart trampled on tonight
I’ll dust it back off tomorrow
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2. |
deflecting
04:35
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it’s Friday night
and everybody’s going the wrong way through the roundabout
and Johnny’s gone back to the parts of the state that we forgot about
and I’m gonna spend another quiet night at home
listening to the sound of my dead phone
and I’m gonna spend another year alone
it’s your golden years don’t let them rot like your daisy plant
but don’t forget to plan till the day before your death
and I’m gonna spend 20 years alone
forever living in a quiet night at home
no one’s outside
they’re all living in Dockside Friday till Monday
and I’ve built my electric fence to deflect friends
I’m gonna spend 70 years alone
listening to the sound of my dead phone
it’s Tuesday night
and everybody’s got their heads around
today I thrived until Diamond shined her charcoal heart
then everything managed to shred itself apart
and I’m gonna spend the rest of the week alone
wrapped in blue, swaddled away at home
and I’m gonna glue my hands to my phone
it’s your golden years don’t let them rot like your daisy plant
but don’t forget to plan till the day before your death
and I’m gonna spend 20 years alone
forever living in a quiet night at home
no one’s outside
they’re all living independently every single day
and I’ve built my electric fence to deflect friends
I’m gonna spend 70 years alone
listening to the sound of my dead phone
and they drift away
and they drift away...
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3. |
lynch
02:57
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I want your skin
to be atop my skin
and feel your arms
around me
in the autumn night
I want to see you
when you first wake up
all grody and not
done up
I get lost in
your brown eyes
when I should be
thinking about my
next line
I want you
to love me
and then you do
but I can’t be
the one
to help you out
of the fire
no matter how hard I try
they’ll lynch you every time
and I don’t know
if I can reach you
after the final bow
and the parties
and the inevitable
sad waves
but I want you
so badly
it aches me
each and every day
when I just want
you to kiss me
and tell me it’s okay
but yet again
when it’s all true
we still can’t
because
they’ll lynch you every time
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4. |
Shining Light
02:58
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walking across the bridge
I pulled back my hair
and in an instant let it back down
and in an instant felt sorry for myself
and I shook you out of my lion’s mane
into the river and you swam away
and you short circuited
watching you thrash your arms
I felt more confused than ever
and you got in formation with the geese
as they eloquently sashay out to shore
and you crawled up wet for a hug
and everything will be alright
“I’m always your shining light”
but your light is wavering and waning
I walk to other beacons but turn back around
for I’m always trapping myself on dead ends
and Hades flew away and I can’t squeeze in traffic
so I clench my jaw and grind my teeth
maybe a new lightbulb will fix everything
or maybe I’ll get lost in another set of brown eyes
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5. |
yourself
03:39
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you’re the one
you’re the one I need
don’t you leave
just lay back
I will brush your hair
and lay you down
to sleep
for however long you need
come with me
I’ll take you on a ride
through the dark parts
you hide beneath the floor
can’t you see that
you’re the one
that people applaud
and look for on the stage
can’t you see that
you’re the one
that needs to hang on
and let your heart beat
can’t you see that
you’re the one
that will make you whole
again
stick with me
and surely the old you
will make a
triumphant return
I know tides are high
but just brace through
and keep riding
someday you won’t be drowning
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6. |
alone
02:28
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I woke up in your arms
safely unaware of the trains
and the storms running in my head
then I opened up my eyes
to my surprise there was nothing there
just me and my empty bed
land for sale for a dollar
I begin to wonder why
then I look in the mirror
all the answers stare at me
and everyone lives in the bin
the only man to excite me is so far it’s a sin
step outside to relieve myself
excuse me while I bathe myself in geese shit
I’m gonna die alone
I’m gonna raise my pigs alone
I’m gonna walk the aisle alone
Call me The Lone Clown
I’m gonna cry alone
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7. |
kick me
01:34
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I ran back from class
black and gold on my back
to start my show
don’t let the FBI know
I discovered new positions
these men they’d never listen
I was just a body on a screen
and I thought that was love
I thought it was enough
I was exotic and maybe 20
they all had something they were missing
my brain underwent a tune down
all I could think about was downtown
Jules got caught at 21
arrested and beaten below the pyramids
I don’t know where they go
I hope it’s down below
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8. |
sail back
03:41
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I hate you and I always will
you treated me like a little kid
as if you remember the bombs and the strikes
you never really cared for me
I cared for you too much
scrolling through for hours to
find you a therapist
‘cause I thought that was the fix
all you needed was to not have me
you said “what are you mad for?”
and wouldn’t own up to it
there’s no way to hide
when I’m watching through the window
you live in my head
I think about the time
we danced in my kitchen
when you weren’t you
I’m so scared that everyone is you
I’m just a blip in your shipwreck life
you’re never gonna sail back
I hope you don’t sail back
and you knew everything the monsters did
yet you replicate their every move
hiding under the guise of a wounded dove
while you were out sneaking and ducking
looking for more than me
I don’t hate him though
he did nothing and I gotta support a brother
he deserves better than anything you could ever give
you live in my head
I think about the time
we danced in my kitchen
when you weren’t you
I’m so scared that everyone is you
I’m just a blip in your shipwreck life
you’re never gonna sail back
I hope you don’t sail back
I hate you and I always will
I rearranged my room for your Dreamcast
only to collect dust
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9. |
blue
03:39
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sliding inside you
I make my entrance
I reside on top
and I watch you smile
I hear your joy
then I look at the clock
and I leave you blue
I leave you blue
He rests in the bathroom
scrubbing anxiously
hiding the evidence
but making sure it’s clean
if and when I come back
to redo what we began
I slide inside
and quickly slip out
and again I leave him blue
why you so down, boy?
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10. |
pier
01:33
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you're supposed to be here
yet you're out in orbit
the others hold each other on the pier
you know I don't agree with their lifestyle
------WHY------
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11. |
Christmastime
03:38
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down Lincolnway they see my lights
peeking through the buildings
shining so bright on a festive night
but then they see inside
I live an insufferable life
of meaninglessness and loneliness
and all these “nesses”
Christmastime was my time
but now I wait for the time
when Norco enters me
and sweet paralysis begins its reign
shut me down and knock me out
take me back to my dad
if such an afterlife exists
lower me down as they deck the halls
I never meant a thing at all
packing up in storage bins
I’ve always loved the process
three months in it’s time to go
to a world I may never know
until I get there
Christmastime was my time
but now I wait for the time
when Norco enters me
and sweet paralysis begins its reign
shut me down and knock me out
take me back to my dad
if such an afterlife exists
lower me down as they deck the halls
I never meant a thing at all
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12. |
TRAUMA QUEEN
04:23
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you hold your pain
down under your tongue
rancid breath held by your teeth
blah blah blah
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t let them know
the blaze in your head
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t be a trauma queen
they can’t see the nightmares
when he runs his paws all over you
but no one can see a thing
when he’s stalking his prey
ready to devour you
you just look crazy now
blah blah blah
healing isn’t linear
so I cry as I snap myself
yeah it hurts but in the end
I just wanna grab my bag
blah blah blah
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t let them know
the blaze in your head
don’t be a trauma queen
don’t be a trauma queen
they can’t see the nightmares
Andrew...Andrew...Andrew...Andrew
Fifty...Fifty...Fifty...Fifty
you’re on something special to me
ten kids, ten kids
nigger faggot nigger faggot
nobody fucking cares now
GIMME SOME OF THAT
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13. |
Cleo
01:35
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14. |
stars and cigs
02:41
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look at the stars
shining so bright
now look at your cigarette
on the ground
I miss everything
but we’re on the other side of it now
last that I heard
the Arizona heat was where you belonged
you’re going out with her bangs
in kernel panic, whatever it means
using me for the void
and she’s still haunting you every night
with your nightmares of the stairs and your baby’s cries
I wish I could console you one last time
I wish you could console me one last time
but I’m running away now
I’m running away now
barefoot and tattered and wounded
but wounds put themselves back together
I’m getting myself back together
I don’t really know what I’m doing
and I know you don’t know either
but when I see your image plastered everywhere in 10 years
you’ll see mine looking back at you
just don’t show up at the concert hall for my late show
and I won’t be at your TED Talks
set me free
set me free
as I get lost in these stars
this time without you
I can’t compete
and I should never compete
for when you’re dealing with this
if you leave you’re just an idiot
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queer father South Bend, Indiana
patron saint of Midwestern gothic tunes and bad decisions since 2019 ✨
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